Someone made a comment to my last blog entry that said:
You said you would archive [this blog] with the old links so it wouldn’t hide your past…but what about people who go to the archive to read your story (because maybe they are struggling to break free too) and then they have those links staring them in the face? So, hey, its your blog, and God will lead you to the best decision for you, but I thought I would point out that counter point. God bless.
Here’s my thoughts on that: I think everyone should take responsibility for themselves. In the soon-to-be archived section of my blog, the links are no easier to click on than those found with a simple Google search. Anyone who uses a computer knows how to type any porn related term into any search engine and find millions of results. I may reverse my decision to leave the links up in the future. But for now I want my “history” to be readily available.
Please don’t think I’m being negative. To be honest, I was very happy all day and was a bit excited at the prospect of going to church after asking God back into my life. I tried to remain so throughout tonight’s service. But, as I mentioned in my last blog entry, I made a promise to my father to remain true to myself and to sugar coat nothing while on this journey, so I’m going to tell you exactly what I think. Here goes…
Church tonight really annoyed me. It’s like I never left. The same songs are being sung. The same things are being said in sermons. It’s just one more person parroting what everyone before him has said in every church service since the beginning of time.
Why must we sing about how great God is, over and over? I know, I know. God wants to hear our praises. This doesn’t make all that much sense to me but I’ll accept your word for it. As one of God’s children, I think of my relationship to him a bit like my relationship with my own son. I want my son to think I’m great and all, but he doesn’t have to tell me over and over and over and over every day for the rest of his life. In fact, I’d think he was a bit weird if he did so…
Seriously, now. Churches wonder why so many “fall away”. I’ll let ya in on one big reason: most churches sing stupid songs that don’t “get to” a person. Know what I mean? One song tonight literally repeated “God is so good” over and over. Wow! That moves me about as much as watching paint dry and almost as much as watching a snail crawling a wall. I mean, what exactly is the point of repeating that phrase for 20 minutes? I don’t get it.
And why must the same rhetoric come out of every preacher’s mouth in every service in every church around the world? Most of the people in church have been there since they were very young. We’ve all heard the stories. 45 times or so. Why tell it again? And why use the exact same verbage as every other preacher? Does God demand only certain words be used when proclaiming his truth?
When the church was singing tonight I was thinking to myself, “I need to start writing songs that people actually enjoy singing!” When the preacher was preaching I was thinking, “Ya know, there’s a big need for interesting preachers in today’s churches! If I ever get up in front of people I’m going to try telling them something that actually helps them in real life situations. Or at least come up with something that INTERESTS them!”
To be fair, on a “challenge” from my ex-wife I went to this same church not too terribly long ago and was impressed. There was a different speaker and for some reason the music was pretty good. I don’t know what happened tonight, but I’ll give them another chance or two. After that I’ll start visiting other area churches to see if I can find one where I “fit”. So far I’m having much more success talking one on one with other Christians or just driving alone in my truck praying.