The weather’s beautiful in Seattle this morning. The sun has been out both days I’ve been here.
Not a full minute after I opened my eyes I received a phone call from Belinda. She’s had two knocks on the door at home and didn’t know who it might be at such an early hour, so she didn’t answer. While we were talking on our cell phones the office phone rang. Belinda didn’t answer, but recognized the number. It was one of our models.
I hung up with Belinda and called the girl back from my cell to see what she needed. She answered in tears. I knew right away what the problem was: someone she knows found her photos online. She begged me to do something to get her off the internet, but there’s really nothing I can do. The companies who own the copyrights will not remove them. I know this from experience.
When interviewing models I tell them it’s very likely someone they know will find them. But no matter how often a model hears this, she either doesn’t care or never thinks it will happen to her. Yes, perhaps someone else will be found, but not me. My dad doesn’t even own a computer. My uncles would never be surfing porn sites. Etc. Etc. Etc.
On top of being told verbally, models have to sign a five page release that makes it clear what they can expect. For some reason it seems the more they are warned, the more they want to pose. I guess that’s just human nature.
The girl this morning told me some of her friends found her photos, which somehow led to her father finding out as well as her employer. She works at a business owned by a Christian woman who is now implying she may be fired. Her father is disappointed in her. Her boyfriend is telling her that he’s “not going to date a porn star”.
The model herself doesn’t think posing was that big a deal and can’t understand why everyone is making it to be one, but her life at this moment is very stressful, to say the least.
This has happened before, of course. If this particular incident follows the patterns of the past it will blow over in a few days and settle down. But it illustrates exactly what I mean when I tell people that I have little personal attraction to pornography. When asked why I say this I tell them, “When I see a pornographic image or video, instead of seeing what the model is doing in the photo or video I see her two weeks after it was shot. The money has been spent and she’s crying on the phone asking that her photos be removed because her family has found out and are telling her that she’s shamed them.”
I used to reconcile these problems by reminding myself that the model had been warned and made her own decision. Even so, it would take a very cold person not to feel her pain. I take responsibility for the part I played.
I am so glad I won’t be producing porn anymore.