I am SOOOOOO not looking forward to having a boss again. I have a problem answering to other people. It just gets way down deep under my skin to have another person telling me what to do all the time. I guess it’s time for Donny to learn some valuable lessons, one of which is to humble himself.
Next week I will most likely start working for someone else. In a perfect world visitors would be showing up to this blog by the millions, and each of them would be clicking relevant Google ad links, generating tons of money. Alas, the millions of dollars in advertising revenue isn’t rolling in from simply sharing my life with the world.
If you have no sense of humor, allow me to offer assurance that I didn’t really expect such things to happen. I actually expected life to become much more difficult than what I’ve been experiencing. I expected to hit rock bottom and have a very rough time getting back on my feet. God seems to have other plans. What a relief!
Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still lose most of my “possessions”. Said possessions include my home. There’s simply no way I can afford a $3600 per month house payment, $1500 per month in car payments (and the insurance that goes with said cars), $2500 per month in support to my ex-wife, and on and on and on… In my former life, bare minimum monthly expenses totaled a hefty five figures per month, not counting payments made to models.
I’m sure there will be times when I miss being able to pay my share of the 2006 Mastercraft X-Star upon which Belinda and I, along with my friend Jamie and numerous other party-loving friends and acquaintances, spent most of this past summer. Jamie and I were partners on the boat, and it currently sits just a few feet from where I am typing this blog entry. That’s not going to remain the case (sorry, Jamie, it’s all yours now… come and get it). I’ll probably miss traveling. I’ll probably miss the ability to go out on a whim and buy almost anything I want.
I know I’ll miss dining out twice a day. I’m not much of a cook.
I can’t begin to describe in one blog entry all of the things money offers. I won’t attempt to deceive you, my Constant Readers, by saying money doesn’t provide for nice life experiences. In my case, it most certainly did. But all of those things combined are so insignificant compared to the beautiful experiences, inner peace and freedom I’ve come to know since surrendering my life to God. Even breathing seems easier than it was before.
In the back of my mind I always had a tiny twinge of guilt about the way I generated income. I’d make up reasons and excuses to justify what I did. I’d tell people I found nothing wrong with my business. I had some pretty decent arguments to support my claims, and I lied to myself so well that sometimes I’d actually believe those lies.
If you’ve read all of my blog entries since the surrender you’ve probably noticed something: I’ve changed direction more than once. I almost jumped at the first job offer, which would have resulted in a move to Seattle. On a recent interview I had with XXXChurch.com (which is available on their blog) I stated that I’d be moving to San Diego to live with my mother for awhile. I felt I needed to get away from Northern California in order to “clear my head”. I’m still having a problem finding my direction, but some of the great people I’ve been speaking with have assured me it’s normal to feel the need to make drastic changes immediately after giving one’s life to God. “Just calm down a little” seems to be a recurring recommendation.
Two local Pastors have voiced the opinion (on separate occasions and without knowledge of my conversation with the other) that I need to stay right here in the Redding/Chico area. To be honest, I really like that idea. That would keep me close to my son.
Last Friday I interviewed with a company in a nearby city that handles internet marketing services for a handful of well known, large corporations.
Tomorrow I have an interview with a company that, while out of the area, would allow me to spend quite a bit of time with my son.
A good friend made a phone call yesterday which resulted in an offer for local employment with an automobile dealership.
God has provided these good, solid choices. I greatly appreciate that. And so, by this time next week, I’ll be calling someone else “boss”. That may not be what Donny Pauling finds most appealing, but it’s real work. And it will suffice until the time comes for God to use me to help others.
Speaking of those advertising links:
Even though I receive $1 per download, I am not kidding at all when I say you should download Firefox if you’re currently using Internet Explorer. Seriously, just do it. Now. Come back and read the rest of this blog entry after you’ve done so. It’s the best thing you can do for your PC to help avoid getting spyware and viruses. If you insist on using Microsoft Internet Explorer you really should not complain when your computer runs slowly, due to spyware and viruses that could have been prevented by avoiding IE. Firefox is a great browser, and it’s so much better for the health of your computer than using Internet Explorer. I use it myself, and I’m on a Mac. Click here to download it now. It’s free.