Donny's Ramblings

On Beagles, Pain, Ego and Business

29 Comments

On Beagles…

My beautiful beagles, Andy and Nelly, are gone. Belinda came for them and they’ll now be residing in a new home, along with one other dog and two cats. I’m sure they’ll be loving life. I cried when they left. Coming home now means entering a completely empty house. There are no beagles who need to be fed or scratched behind the ears.

———-

On Pain…

Some have left comments stating that I’ve been ignoring the pain of others and focusing on my own pain. That’s not true. I write about my own pain because it helps heal it. But don’t think that means I’m not constantly thinking about the pain I’ve caused to others. One commenter mentioned my ex-wife and what I must have put her through. Believe me, Mister or Missus Anonymous Commenter, I do consider this quite a bit more than you might imagine. In fact I apologize to her all the time about it. I can never apologize enough.

Some of the things I’ve been experience parallel some of the things she experienced when I tore her life apart all those years ago. I believe God can use all things for his purposes, and although it is my own sin that has resulted in what I’m now experiencing, God uses these experiences to educate. I’ve been gaining a deeper understanding of what I put Wendy through, and I’ve been able to empathize with her because some of those same experiences are now happening to me. In fact, I have been making a habit of telling her, “I did ________ to you. I now understand a little better what you must have felt like. I am SO sorry.” Slowly but surely, I think she is beginning to believe I actually do understand. Even so, there is a long way to go before I have a complete grasp on Wendy’s pain. I just hope I don’t have to experience all of it. It’s definitely not pleasant.

———-

More On Ego…

Many things led to the point in time where I surrendered my life to God. One of those things was the breaking down of my ego. Don’t get me wrong, quite a bit of it remains, but a good chunk was chipped out of it as a result of the sex game I mentioned in the blog entry posted on December 29th. I’m not really sure why I mention this.

Someday, when I can wrap my mind around what happened enough to express the lessons learned, I intend to blog a bit about it. It’s rather odd what God can use to work on someone’s mind. The crushing of my ego during that game allowed me to see what a useless, meaningless life I’d been living. It allowed me to better recognize the Christian example being shown by so many people in my life, including the pastors of xxxchurch. My ego had to be greatly lessened before I was able to see things more clearly. It had to be crushed to allow truth to enter my life. Even so, it took more than 7 months of realization before I finally reached the point of surrender.

My lifestyle placed a large barrier between me and what is truly important in life, and I’m not speaking of a relationship with God at the moment. We all know that is important. I am talking about family and friends.

Most of those I referred to as “friends” before were not friends at all. My family loved me regardless of what I did, but I never realized the wall that my life as a porn producer put up between us. Another of the things that softened me up to surrender my life to God was a visit to my father’s house. I was still producing at that point, and my step-mom reminded me that I’d made a promise to them to be finished with porn production by the time my son was in school. I’d completely forgotten about it until that moment. I saw the hurt on her face that I hadn’t kept my promise, and realized how much my actions must continuously hurt my dad as well. They never gave me much crap for it. They just loved me in spite of myself. But they must have been torn up inside the entire time I produced.

———-

On Business…

I haven’t spoken a whole lot on my new business. It’s something that blows my mind every time I think about it. I was in the middle of fasting, and on day 4 I had a brainstorm. I called the owner of a Chevrolet franchise and asked his opinion on my idea. He strongly encouraged me to get things rolling as soon as possible and promised he’d be a client right away.

And that’s the way it’s been going!

Every dealership I’ve spoken with likes my idea. I have yet to hear a “no” once I’m speaking with a decision maker.

Are you curious yet? Okay, I’ll tell you what I’m doing.

As you may recall, a local dealership hired me to develop an internet sales and marketing department for them. I wanted to do the best job possible so I began researching what was working and what was not working for other dealers who already have internet departments. Overwhelmingly I was told that one major problem dealerships had was in finding the time to photograph their inventory for their websites. Another problem was handling technical aspects relating to their websites. Yet another problem was properly marketing their websites online.

Dear God, tell me I’m hearing these dealers correctly.

They need someone to:
photograph their vehicles,
manage their websites,
and market said websites.

Hmmm…. this may be a big jump here, but it seems to me that I know how to properly operated a camera (and have some pretty nice photo equipment sitting here doing nothing), I’ve run porn sites for quite a few years, and while I owned those porn sites they were marketed well enough that my internet traffic exceeded 12 million unique visitors each month.

Can you guess what I’m doing now? If not, let me spell it out for you. I’m managing auto dealer websites, from design (or redesign) to photographing inventory to marketing. And dealers are signing up like crazy. So much so that this month I have to hire two people to help me, and I anticipate needing more help in just a few short months.

Any idea who deserves the credit for this success?

Why are you making things so easy on me, God? Don’t get me wrong, I love it! Thank you, thank you, thank you for your blessings. Feel free to keep sending them.

29 thoughts on “On Beagles, Pain, Ego and Business

  1. I’m so glad God is blessing you right now, both with the helps and the hurts. The ego thing, I can identify with the most. If you’re anything like me (and it seems like we are cut from similar cloth), the ego issue isn’t going to go away. For me, it’s a constant struggle between service for God and pride in my efforts, even if the effort is to become more humble. Being proud of being humble…what kind of oxymoronic thinking can produce that?! Mine. Glad to hear about the job thing. Without going into specifics, I was wondering how this is doing for you financially. Obviously, it’s not as lucrative as your previous web experience, but is it better than you expected? If you ever want to expand into other markets (a long way off, I’m sure), let me know. I’ve got a contact here in Memphis I think could be interested in the idea. BTW, I’ve been gone on vacation, so just wanted to say HUG!!! And love ya, bro.

  2. I’m so glad God is blessing you right now, both with the helps and the hurts. The ego thing, I can identify with the most. If you’re anything like me (and it seems like we are cut from similar cloth), the ego issue isn’t going to go away. For me, it’s a constant struggle between service for God and pride in my efforts, even if the effort is to become more humble. Being proud of being humble…what kind of oxymoronic thinking can produce that?! Mine.
    Glad to hear about the job thing. Without going into specifics, I was wondering how this is doing for you financially. Obviously, it’s not as lucrative as your previous web experience, but is it better than you expected?
    If you ever want to expand into other markets (a long way off, I’m sure), let me know. I’ve got a contact here in Memphis I think could be interested in the idea.
    BTW, I’ve been gone on vacation, so just wanted to say HUG!!! And love ya, bro.

  3. Jeff,It will take awhile to meet the financial “rewards” of the previous job I held, but the new business is taking off rather well. I’m very happy with it. Let’s put it this way: while it won’t pay what porn paid me, it will pay more than I’d make working for someone else. It also allows me to employ a few people. 🙂

  4. Jeff,

    It will take awhile to meet the financial “rewards” of the previous job I held, but the new business is taking off rather well. I’m very happy with it.

    Let’s put it this way: while it won’t pay what porn paid me, it will pay more than I’d make working for someone else.

    It also allows me to employ a few people. 🙂

  5. Rock on. Always good to bring others along for the ride, too. When you get to the point where you can do so, you may want to check out advertising with local media websites, too. I know that Clear Channel’s main initiative right now is integrating their stations and advertisers more closely with their websites. It might be worth contacting a salesperson with CC near you about the possibilities because right now, it’ll likely be at bargain pricing for the exposure.

  6. Rock on. Always good to bring others along for the ride, too.
    When you get to the point where you can do so, you may want to check out advertising with local media websites, too. I know that Clear Channel’s main initiative right now is integrating their stations and advertisers more closely with their websites. It might be worth contacting a salesperson with CC near you about the possibilities because right now, it’ll likely be at bargain pricing for the exposure.

  7. Your post left me with a huge smile on my face. I’m thrilled that you’re seeing the blessings in the midst of your pain. One phrase I’m reminded of (though it’s become quite cliche in recent years): “beauty from ashes.” That’s what I see here. The Lord is with you, Donny.

  8. God bless you for your faithfulness, even in the face of unspeakable pain.

  9. Thanks for all your blogs…Love hearing how God has been/is molding you and will use you for his glory.This broken clay pot has been healing too. ThanksBless you KV

  10. Your post left me with a huge smile on my face. I’m thrilled that you’re seeing the blessings in the midst of your pain. One phrase I’m reminded of (though it’s become quite cliche in recent years): “beauty from ashes.” That’s what I see here. The Lord is with you, Donny.

  11. God bless you for your faithfulness, even in the face of unspeakable pain.

  12. Thanks for all your blogs…Love hearing how God has been/is molding you and will use you for his glory.

    This broken clay pot has been healing too. Thanks

    Bless you KV

  13. The beagles miss you 😦 Not sure how they will do here.

  14. They just loved me in spite of myself.Dear readers don’t miss this one sentence. Now ask yourselves… who in your life exemplifies this?Better yet ask yourselves who would name you if they were asked this same question?Now go make that second list longer.peace|dewdehttp://www.teensagainstporn.comhttp://www.myspace.com/teensagainstporn

  15. They just loved me in spite of myself.

    Dear readers don’t miss this one sentence.

    Now ask yourselves… who in your life exemplifies this?

    Better yet ask yourselves who would name you if they were asked this same question?

    Now go make that second list longer.

    peace|dewde
    http://www.teensagainstporn.com
    http://www.myspace.com/teensagainstporn

  16. Awesome idea man! Keep up the good work!

  17. Awesome idea man! Keep up the good work!

  18. Hello Donny, my apologies for duplicate comments in previous posts; I forgot you had comment moderation on. Anyhow, this was a great post to read, first on getting the great idea to manage dealership websites and second that your parents loved you regardless of your porn production. They were living unconditional love. That is freaking awesome, seriously.

  19. Hello Donny, my apologies for duplicate comments in previous posts; I forgot you had comment moderation on. Anyhow, this was a great post to read, first on getting the great idea to manage dealership websites and second that your parents loved you regardless of your porn production. They were living unconditional love. That is freaking awesome, seriously.

  20. donny – love the business idea. it’s such a natural for you! Maybe i can swing some business your way at some point. i am a manager at a technology consulting company. psyched for you on that!

  21. donny – love the business idea. it’s such a natural for you! Maybe i can swing some business your way at some point. i am a manager at a technology consulting company. psyched for you on that!

  22. Hey buddy, if you need some help shooting cars my wife and I can help. Heck, we have free time on our hands and I have flight benifits so we can fly out and help you out a weekend or two.Let me know,Ronhttp://www.myspace.com/thelefttoright

  23. Hey buddy, if you need some help shooting cars my wife and I can help. Heck, we have free time on our hands and I have flight benifits so we can fly out and help you out a weekend or two.

    Let me know,
    Ron

    http://www.myspace.com/thelefttoright

  24. Hey Donny I’m sure your x-wife has moved on a long time ago and already has been healed from the hurt that was caused. Maybe you should start trying to do that yourself. Don’t blame porn. The blame is all your own doing. No one made you do what you did other then yourself. Using the “devil” like so many Christians do is nothing but a crutch, Glad to see you not using that excuse. So what you think you screwed up.. Move on to better things. Stop looking at the past and look to the future.

  25. Hey Donny I’m sure your x-wife has moved on a long time ago and already has been healed from the hurt that was caused. Maybe you should start trying to do that yourself.

    Don’t blame porn. The blame is all your own doing. No one made you do what you did other then yourself. Using the “devil” like so many Christians do is nothing but a crutch, Glad to see you not using that excuse.

    So what you think you screwed up.. Move on to better things. Stop looking at the past and look to the future.

  26. I hear ya about what car dealerships need. I work for a web design company myself, and we just built a simple database amd inventory management section for a dealership.

  27. I hear ya about what car dealerships need. I work for a web design company myself, and we just built a simple database amd inventory management section for a dealership.

  28. donny,thanks for letting us know again what is going on. we’ll keep praying for you of course. im excited that things are working out on the work end of it all.brad

  29. donny,

    thanks for letting us know again what is going on. we’ll keep praying for you of course. im excited that things are working out on the work end of it all.

    brad

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.