Donny's Ramblings

An Email I Received This Morning

37 Comments

Hey Donny,

I have a HUGE problem. I’m getting married in a month, and my fiancé FOUND MY PICTURES on the internet. He is beside himself. He is hurt and shocked and being that we are supposed to tie the knot in less than a month, I’m freakin suicidal!!! Freakin sick over this….throwing up, cannot sleep at all…I never thought in a million years that would ever happen. How long do those pictures circulate?? I am seriously pissed.

I know I did those pics and yes it was my fault, I want to get them OFF the internet. Is there anyway possible to do that ASAP? I will pay you the money back, whatever it takes. This will and is ruining my life. I am fearful that his friends will see and torture him about it, or the people I work with in the military. (they are all men) I am absolutely SICK over this. I can’t eat or sleep and I honestly don’t know what to do. I swear to you, I never thought this would happen. I mean, there are a million girls on the freakin internet….why me?! and because you are supposed to be a changed man? into God and everything? please…I need to know that you understand my situation, and find it in your heart to help me. This is destroying me. I know I am 100% responsible for taking the pictures, it’s my fault. But it was a long time ago, and I was single and I needed the money. But isn’t there anything you can do to please help me now??? This was like 2 or 3 years ago? Why are my pics still on the damned internet???

My military career and soon to be marriage (if he still will) is riding on this. Don’t my pictures expire after a certain time? and you just put new ones up? or sell new ones to companies to flush out old girls? I think you can read the desperation in this email.

I am completely desperate (again) at this point Donny and need your help. Can you help me? Please. I need EVERYTHING removed. What can we do? I’ll pay you money, anything. PLEASE say you can help me. PLEASE.

Yep, porn is harmless…

37 thoughts on “An Email I Received This Morning

  1. There is nothing I can do for this girl. Nothing.

    😦

  2. There is nothing I can do for this girl. Nothing.

    😦

  3. So sorry. So much hurt. Only God can help heal.

  4. So sorry. So much hurt. Only God can help heal.

  5. While I understand her concerns are very real and rightfully so…what concerns me more is what was her fiance doing on the internet to stumble upon her pornographic pictures? I am not judging them nor do I want to make assumption but am I the only one who is wondering that? She may have more problems in store for her than the reality of her past. She obviously is not doing this anymore… what about him?

  6. While I understand her concerns are very real and rightfully so…what concerns me more is what was her fiance doing on the internet to stumble upon her pornographic pictures? I am not judging them nor do I want to make assumption but am I the only one who is wondering that? She may have more problems in store for her than the reality of her past. She obviously is not doing this anymore… what about him?

  7. MT, he may have found things as I found MY fiance’s: by typing their name into Google in a moment of boredom… and find VERY unexpected results! The odds of finding out that way are much higher than randomly bumping into her image if he was surfing porn. In this way, it is quite easy to stumble on these things without intending to find illicit contents.

    Also, the writer does not make any accusations against him – and I’d think she asked how he found it (Wouldn’t you, if caught in the same position?) – I’d say he must have found in a way in which she did not find fault. May I gentley remind you that in I Corinthians 13:7, the Lord tells us that walking in His love means that we assume the best of every person?

    “Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].”

    Much love to you and yous 🙂

  8. MT, he may have found things as I found MY fiance’s: by typing their name into Google in a moment of boredom… and find VERY unexpected results! The odds of finding out that way are much higher than randomly bumping into her image if he was surfing porn. In this way, it is quite easy to stumble on these things without intending to find illicit contents.

    Also, the writer does not make any accusations against him – and I’d think she asked how he found it (Wouldn’t you, if caught in the same position?) – I’d say he must have found in a way in which she did not find fault. May I gentley remind you that in I Corinthians 13:7, the Lord tells us that walking in His love means that we assume the best of every person?

    “Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].”

    Much love to you and yous 🙂

  9. “What was he doing looking at porn” was also MY first thought. Unless she used her REAL name, he’d have never found those pics through a search engine.

    She may not have even thought to ASK him that because she was, as I would have been, probably MORTIFIED he found out and didn’t care HOW he did, just that he DID.

    Obviously she doesn’t realize Donny has nothing to do with the site anymore, nor anything to do with all the places those pics ended up.

    Sorry Donny. You’re forgiven by God obviously, but you’ll be dealing with regret for a long time. Maybe the rest of your life.

  10. “What was he doing looking at porn” was also MY first thought. Unless she used her REAL name, he’d have never found those pics through a search engine.

    She may not have even thought to ASK him that because she was, as I would have been, probably MORTIFIED he found out and didn’t care HOW he did, just that he DID.

    Obviously she doesn’t realize Donny has nothing to do with the site anymore, nor anything to do with all the places those pics ended up.

    Sorry Donny. You’re forgiven by God obviously, but you’ll be dealing with regret for a long time. Maybe the rest of your life.

  11. Certainly everyone has some good points put forth whether regarding her or him and how this all happened and what to consider.

    I also know there is a certain amount of modesty and withholding that some practice and are even encouraged to by some, in entering relationships, because as some would say, “the past is the past” and “what happens in Vegas…”, etc. However, without true surrender and finding forgiveness, you can’t just assume that it is past. In first reading it, I thought she was talking something more than just 2 or 3 years ago, but then she says it. 2 or 3 years is not very long ago at all either. For something like this, I would have hoped that issues of trust, truthfulness, disclosure, etc. would enter in.

    Some approach marriage with expectations, even fairy tale presumptions, or half truths or lies about who they are, only to have it be like one trying to hold it all down like a bunch of beach balls in a pool. Eventually some of them are going to get away. But if you have a past, that you have found freedom from, especially with such a one like this, this type of past should be shared with your beloved, because of the issues of intimacy and the element of it touching the core of a marriage as per sex and exposure. Your conscience and behaviour all are affected by trying to keep it all concealed. Oh, the beauty and freedom of Romans 8:1 “THEREFORE, [there is] now no condemnation (no adjudging guilty of wrong) for those who are in Christ Jesus, who live [and] walk not after the dictates of the flesh, but after the dictates of the Spirit.” Amplified Bible

    If he or her, whomever, in a relationship can love in all honesty, with nothing to hide, then nothing can get between them. Because elements such as these become the very ones that threaten to destroy marriage. They are seeds of destruction. They become the very snares that the enemy uses to trip us up. Knowing it all and loving is the measure of strength the relationship will have against all onslaughts of the enemy. Just as much as there would be if the guy, in this case, were hiding his own stuff.

    Given that we don’t know if she or he is even a believer, to expect any of this is a question. Pursuit of God more than anything else would be the sure solution of the heart. Anyone can make copies of those pics and propel them into foreverness, even if their origination ceased.

    We can surely pray that healing of this relationship be the answer, and more so, that both parties come to know God through this heartache. Who knows, if they can work through this, perhaps, what they have and share, will be even stronger, like a broken bone, that heals with greater strength to endure.

    Certainly no amount of money paid to Donny or anyone to try and remove this stuff could. However, the price Christ paid and receiving of the same, can wipe away the guilt, even if the consequences linger.

  12. Certainly everyone has some good points put forth whether regarding her or him and how this all happened and what to consider.

    I also know there is a certain amount of modesty and withholding that some practice and are even encouraged to by some, in entering relationships, because as some would say, “the past is the past” and “what happens in Vegas…”, etc. However, without true surrender and finding forgiveness, you can’t just assume that it is past. In first reading it, I thought she was talking something more than just 2 or 3 years ago, but then she says it. 2 or 3 years is not very long ago at all either. For something like this, I would have hoped that issues of trust, truthfulness, disclosure, etc. would enter in.

    Some approach marriage with expectations, even fairy tale presumptions, or half truths or lies about who they are, only to have it be like one trying to hold it all down like a bunch of beach balls in a pool. Eventually some of them are going to get away. But if you have a past, that you have found freedom from, especially with such a one like this, this type of past should be shared with your beloved, because of the issues of intimacy and the element of it touching the core of a marriage as per sex and exposure. Your conscience and behaviour all are affected by trying to keep it all concealed. Oh, the beauty and freedom of Romans 8:1 “THEREFORE, [there is] now no condemnation (no adjudging guilty of wrong) for those who are in Christ Jesus, who live [and] walk not after the dictates of the flesh, but after the dictates of the Spirit.” Amplified Bible

    If he or her, whomever, in a relationship can love in all honesty, with nothing to hide, then nothing can get between them. Because elements such as these become the very ones that threaten to destroy marriage. They are seeds of destruction. They become the very snares that the enemy uses to trip us up. Knowing it all and loving is the measure of strength the relationship will have against all onslaughts of the enemy. Just as much as there would be if the guy, in this case, were hiding his own stuff.

    Given that we don’t know if she or he is even a believer, to expect any of this is a question. Pursuit of God more than anything else would be the sure solution of the heart. Anyone can make copies of those pics and propel them into foreverness, even if their origination ceased.

    We can surely pray that healing of this relationship be the answer, and more so, that both parties come to know God through this heartache. Who knows, if they can work through this, perhaps, what they have and share, will be even stronger, like a broken bone, that heals with greater strength to endure.

    Certainly no amount of money paid to Donny or anyone to try and remove this stuff could. However, the price Christ paid and receiving of the same, can wipe away the guilt, even if the consequences linger.

  13. P.S.
    I agree, porn is harmless…when it’s grip, in whatever form that may be or have been, no longer has a grip, because whomever it is, as it says in John 8:32: “And you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free.” Amplified Bible Verse 36 follows it up with “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” NIV There is then nothing to hide and nothing hidden has any hold on you.

  14. P.S.
    I agree, porn is harmless…when it’s grip, in whatever form that may be or have been, no longer has a grip, because whomever it is, as it says in John 8:32: “And you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free.” Amplified Bible Verse 36 follows it up with “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” NIV There is then nothing to hide and nothing hidden has any hold on you.

  15. IS there a way to remove her picture? Or when she got it taken and someone posted it, it became their property and she has no say forever?

  16. IS there a way to remove her picture? Or when she got it taken and someone posted it, it became their property and she has no say forever?

  17. Tina,
    Donny can probably verify, but I’ve heard it enough times that I think I can explain for him what happens:

    1) A photographer takes the pictures. He’s not paid at this point, but pays the model a predetermined fee.
    2) The photographer shops those pictures around to contacts who may be interested in purchasing the pictures.
    3) A contact is interested and a fee is decided. For the fee, the photographer hands over the pictures to the purchaser AND the rights to the pictures’ distribution.

    So in the end, the photographer does not hold the distribution rights to these pictures. That right is held by the purchaser, usually the owner of the site that will post them.

    That’s why Donny said there’s nothing he can do, because he legally sold his rights to those pictures.

  18. Tina,
    Donny can probably verify, but I’ve heard it enough times that I think I can explain for him what happens:

    1) A photographer takes the pictures. He’s not paid at this point, but pays the model a predetermined fee.
    2) The photographer shops those pictures around to contacts who may be interested in purchasing the pictures.
    3) A contact is interested and a fee is decided. For the fee, the photographer hands over the pictures to the purchaser AND the rights to the pictures’ distribution.

    So in the end, the photographer does not hold the distribution rights to these pictures. That right is held by the purchaser, usually the owner of the site that will post them.

    That’s why Donny said there’s nothing he can do, because he legally sold his rights to those pictures.

  19. “Sorry Donny. You’re forgiven by God obviously, but you’ll be dealing with regret for a long time. Maybe the rest of your life.”

    Donny, you are forgiven by God. You are washed clean. God does not leave you feeling horrible about your past because the way He looks at it, it never happened. No regret about past choices, it is covered by the blood of Jesus no matter what anyone else says. I am thankful for the man you are and the integrity and victory that you continue to walk in.

  20. “Sorry Donny. You’re forgiven by God obviously, but you’ll be dealing with regret for a long time. Maybe the rest of your life.”

    Donny, you are forgiven by God. You are washed clean. God does not leave you feeling horrible about your past because the way He looks at it, it never happened. No regret about past choices, it is covered by the blood of Jesus no matter what anyone else says. I am thankful for the man you are and the integrity and victory that you continue to walk in.

  21. Surely for enough money those photos removed – I’m sure the site would remove them for the right price? Perhaps you could get in contact with them, or someone who could, and see how much they’d want? Considering (by the sounds of it) she’s not their “star model” it’s not like they’d be losing out on their niche in the market, or their celebrity… just the money that photo shoot’s likely to bring in. As the saying goes “everyone(/everything?) has it’s price”.

    Just a thought… poor girl 😐

    Ross.

  22. Surely for enough money those photos removed – I’m sure the site would remove them for the right price? Perhaps you could get in contact with them, or someone who could, and see how much they’d want? Considering (by the sounds of it) she’s not their “star model” it’s not like they’d be losing out on their niche in the market, or their celebrity… just the money that photo shoot’s likely to bring in. As the saying goes “everyone(/everything?) has it’s price”.

    Just a thought… poor girl 😐

    Ross.

  23. Well if she would have been honest with her finance in the first place, this would not be an issue. Lies always come back to you and omitting something that important is a lie in my book.

  24. Well if she would have been honest with her finance in the first place, this would not be an issue. Lies always come back to you and omitting something that important is a lie in my book.

  25. Hosea 8:7 “For they have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind: it hath no stalk: the bud shall yield no meal: if so be it yield, the strangers shall swallow it up.”

  26. Hosea 8:7 “For they have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind: it hath no stalk: the bud shall yield no meal: if so be it yield, the strangers shall swallow it up.”

  27. Wow…reading the last few posts, it’s hard to believe that people don’t feel comforted by going to church anymore.

    /sarcasm

    Are we done with the finger-pointing? She knows she screwed up. My heart breaks for her.

  28. Wow…reading the last few posts, it’s hard to believe that people don’t feel comforted by going to church anymore.

    /sarcasm

    Are we done with the finger-pointing? She knows she screwed up. My heart breaks for her.

  29. Man. I’ve never thought of the damage that can be done for a girl who “just” had a couple of photos taken. This story breaks my heart.

  30. Man. I’ve never thought of the damage that can be done for a girl who “just” had a couple of photos taken. This story breaks my heart.

  31. Almost nobody addresses these issues.
    It’s a good thing at least someone does like you, instead of noone.
    Thanks for caring, and thanks for sharing.
    I do believe you have a lot of worthy points.

  32. Almost nobody addresses these issues.
    It’s a good thing at least someone does like you, instead of noone.
    Thanks for caring, and thanks for sharing.
    I do believe you have a lot of worthy points.

  33. Perhaps ONE site might remove the pics for a price.The thing is, once those pictures are on the internet, they spread like wildfire.They can end up on many sites, passed around on p2p and torrent networks, etc., and downloaded on millions of computers, re-passed, re-posted…Trying to catch a porn pic once it's release is like trying to catch the wind.

  34. Approve.

  35. The woman who wrote this letter and all the other women….. Move forward in peace and faith. Not all men or people look down on you. I feel if we all literally take the idea we are all brothers and sisters we will take an act of protecting one another in respect..encouragement and the realization life is short and LOVE is a verb not adjective. The two GREAT…love God love your neighbors. These would solve the problem. Simple yet a struggle. The woman who wrote this actual mail I truly want to contact. We all get one chance at this life …it is where we are headed not where we have been. My prayer this new year as I’ve learned of these sad stories is that all of these women will get a miracle that brings forth the blessings of their heart…be it..healing..repair..forgiveness…peace….EVERYTHING they need. Lets ALL of us have this prayer in our hearts. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM. Smile all of you amazing women…vessels of of the miracle of life.

    Philip

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