Donny's Ramblings

A Message From a Former Model

8 Comments

For some reason, I’ve been really feeling compelled to contact one of the girls who modeled for me. I finally tracked her down and had a conversation with her via Yahoo Instant Messenger a few days ago. Amongst other things, I asked if she’d mind allowing me to interview her for the column I write for XXXChurch.com. I promised to keep her anonymous.

Today I received this message from her:

Donny-
Hey, well I’ve been thinking about our convo the last couple days and i finally went on your myspace to read some of your comments to see if you were truly being honest. I saw the last comment from the guy talking about seeing your pod cast on xxx church and so I decided to watch it. I’m so happy for you and I want to ask for your forgiveness. I was a horrible Christian when I was doing what I was doing. I was not only putting myself in a horrible position but I was putting you in that position too by allowing that to go on. I also wanted to tell you that I’ve hated you till now. I know it sounds extreme but I blamed you for where I was at. If it hadn’t been for you taking those pictures I would still be able to hold my head high. Now I’ve realized that that was Satan. He was telling me to blame you when all along I should’ve been blaming myself for everything that was going wrong in my life. I needed someone to blame other than myself. You were it. I’m sorry. Also I forgive you. I forgive you for taking the pictures. It sounds stupid because that was your job and I’m forgiving you for your job but for some reason I feel like I needed to say that. For what it’s worth. I would love to do the interview and if you want a testimony on screen I would love to tell my story. You don’t have to keep me anonymous. I feel like it makes more of an impact if you can see that person, it’s real. But it’s up to you, I’m just God’s tool. He makes everything good. Thank you Donny. You’ve helped me more than you know. Please give me a call when you have a chance. Talk to you soon. God Bless
-R

I removed the rest of her name because I want her to be very sure she’s okay going on record or on camera. If she’s sure about it, I look forward to allowing readers to place a face with yet another story of how porn affects the lives of those involved.

I am also very thankful for her forgiveness.

There will likely be more on this story in the near future…

8 thoughts on “A Message From a Former Model

  1. God bless this girl for her honesty and openness!!

  2. God bless this girl for her honesty and openness!!

  3. Not only does God delivers us and redeems us and forgives us going forward, but most definitely retroactively…and so He does the same with so much of our past and relationships, so that there can then be no condemnation, no skeletons in the closet…

    I’m reminded in Acts 2 of Peter’s preaching to the multitude after the baptism of the Spirit in the upper room when all of Jerusalem came out to see what was going on…Peter, who denied Christ 3 times essentially a part of his crucifiction and was forgiven, could without fear of fingers being pointed at him, utter out to the multitude – ” This Jesus…whom you crucified…” A free man can make such a claim because he no longer has anything to hide, even though he was a part of that crucifiction.

    God can mend and heal and restore the brokenness of the past without regret.

  4. Not only does God delivers us and redeems us and forgives us going forward, but most definitely retroactively…and so He does the same with so much of our past and relationships, so that there can then be no condemnation, no skeletons in the closet…

    I’m reminded in Acts 2 of Peter’s preaching to the multitude after the baptism of the Spirit in the upper room when all of Jerusalem came out to see what was going on…Peter, who denied Christ 3 times essentially a part of his crucifiction and was forgiven, could without fear of fingers being pointed at him, utter out to the multitude – ” This Jesus…whom you crucified…” A free man can make such a claim because he no longer has anything to hide, even though he was a part of that crucifiction.

    God can mend and heal and restore the brokenness of the past without regret.

  5. I’m very much looking forward to seeing these long-promised interviews / testimony / where-are-they-now reports from the models themselves. The more publicly forthcoming & honest you and the models are, the more you all reveal your humanity, and that’s having a transformative effect on me, as a former ‘consumer’ of your work. Learning about the reality of the lives these women have outside of the fantasy world of porn makes it increasingly apparent that porn, even with all its smiling faces and people who seem to be enjoying it all, *is* fantasy, and the models who posed for you are real people who don’t exist in the world for my or anyone else’s titillation. It completely changes the way I think about the images I once pored over. The more I read your blogs, especially these posts about former models, the less I want to see any kind of porn.

    Unfortunately, I’m not typical. There are many people who aren’t so empathetic out there, and they’re skimming your blogs but not getting anything positive out of it. I say this because I saw in a forum a mention of your blog and one of your former models who you had made a very touching blog post about just prior to your transformation. The tone of the more recent forum post was much like the tone of the initial comments on your long-deleted blog post about her. It was along the lines of “Whoa, she doesn’t look hot with that baby in her hands… but I’d still do her”. It was crass and disgusting, and reminded me that there are some (a lot) of guys who only want something to masturbate to, and will latch on to whatever you give them, without any regard whatsoever for the real message you’re trying to send. You were good at what you did, and your work still lingers on the Net, and the addicts are hungry for more — I know because that’s what initially brought me here.

    So I advise you to keep these women’s real names out of your blog, even if they say it’s OK. Don’t even use initials or first names only. If they want to reveal their real names, they can do it themselves, but not through you. It would be creating too much of a temptation for online stalking, which could very easily spill over into real-world stalking. If one unwelcome message from a “fan” arrives in the inbox or instant messenger of any of these women, it’ll be a bad scene all around.

  6. I’m very much looking forward to seeing these long-promised interviews / testimony / where-are-they-now reports from the models themselves. The more publicly forthcoming & honest you and the models are, the more you all reveal your humanity, and that’s having a transformative effect on me, as a former ‘consumer’ of your work. Learning about the reality of the lives these women have outside of the fantasy world of porn makes it increasingly apparent that porn, even with all its smiling faces and people who seem to be enjoying it all, *is* fantasy, and the models who posed for you are real people who don’t exist in the world for my or anyone else’s titillation. It completely changes the way I think about the images I once pored over. The more I read your blogs, especially these posts about former models, the less I want to see any kind of porn.

    Unfortunately, I’m not typical. There are many people who aren’t so empathetic out there, and they’re skimming your blogs but not getting anything positive out of it. I say this because I saw in a forum a mention of your blog and one of your former models who you had made a very touching blog post about just prior to your transformation. The tone of the more recent forum post was much like the tone of the initial comments on your long-deleted blog post about her. It was along the lines of “Whoa, she doesn’t look hot with that baby in her hands… but I’d still do her”. It was crass and disgusting, and reminded me that there are some (a lot) of guys who only want something to masturbate to, and will latch on to whatever you give them, without any regard whatsoever for the real message you’re trying to send. You were good at what you did, and your work still lingers on the Net, and the addicts are hungry for more — I know because that’s what initially brought me here.

    So I advise you to keep these women’s real names out of your blog, even if they say it’s OK. Don’t even use initials or first names only. If they want to reveal their real names, they can do it themselves, but not through you. It would be creating too much of a temptation for online stalking, which could very easily spill over into real-world stalking. If one unwelcome message from a “fan” arrives in the inbox or instant messenger of any of these women, it’ll be a bad scene all around.

  7. there are some (a lot) of guys who only want something to masturbate to, and will latch on to whatever you give them, without any regard whatsoever for the real message you’re trying to send.

    I was and am sorry.

  8. there are some (a lot) of guys who only want something to masturbate to, and will latch on to whatever you give them, without any regard whatsoever for the real message you’re trying to send.

    I was and am sorry.

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