Donny's Ramblings

Does My Heart Well: "Porn and Pancakes" and "Uncle" Ron Jeremy


Yesterday I was in Los Angeles for a Porn and Pancakes event at the Oasis Christian Center. When I arrived I was picked up at the Los Angeles Airport by Jeff Borkoski, an Oasis LA Associate Pastor. Jeff took me to my amazing room at the Orlando near Beverly Center.

Prior to arriving in LA, I’d received an email from Michelle (nice song playing on your profile right now Michelle – I like it), who handles all bookings and arrangements for XXXChurch. Michelle passed along a question from Oasis. Since I flew in Friday afternoon, what did I want to do Friday night? What a nice gesture! I haven’t been asked that question before.

Such thoughtfulness continued the entire time I was in Los Angeles. When I reached that VERY nice room I mentioned at the Orlando, on the desk was an impressive gift basket filled with so much food I couldn’t possibly eat all of it, which is why several items from it currently sit in front of me, here at home between my keyboard and my iMac, even as I type this blog entry.

While at the church I had a “shadow”, which was another staff pastor who kept me company and made sure I didn’t need anything. The church was amazingly beautiful and the men who attended P&P were some of the most friendly, down to earth people I’ve ever met. And very diverse. It really did my heart very well to be a part of this event this weekend.

Classy. Classy. Classy.

As for the event itself: I’ve been told lots of conversations have been going on afterward. I know I spoke with dozens of men and had some great conversations of my own. God really moves through these events!


After the event, Craig Gross and his wife and two beautiful children headed off to Ron Jeremy‘s house to meet his turtle and go to lunch. Ron, who has two bachelor’s degrees and a master’s in education, is called “Uncle Ron” by Craig’s kids.

I wish I could put into words how this makes me feel. Craig and his family have made Ron part of theirs. While some may question such a thing, I think it is a perfect example of Christians who are being Jesus in skin and loving without judgment. Shouldn’t that be how all of us act? Loving those who may not believe as we do, and may in fact be involved in activities we greatly dislike?

This… this is a type of Christianity I can dedicate my life to…


Filling Up
After breakfast, the men begin filling up the main sanctuary at Oasis LA. Click to enlarge.

15 thoughts on “Does My Heart Well: "Porn and Pancakes" and "Uncle" Ron Jeremy

  1. Please tell me how Craig and his wife explain what Uncle Ron does for a living? Loving the sinner is expected, loving the sin is not, which I know you agree. There is such a very fine line there when dealing with children. Extreme wisdom is so needed – AND judgment in discerning the best possible action for your children.

    I have no problem in Christians being Jesus in skin – it does take a lot of maturity to be good at it. Not everyone has been “called” into this ministry, which is why I’m glad you have been. I am praying for you to be a vital witness.

  2. Jean,

    I’d respectfully like to ask why it would be my business what Craig tells his kids Uncle Ron does for a living.

    If I were to introduce my son to you I seriously doubt your occupation would come into the conversation at any point.

    You are right, though: not all are capable of unconditional love. I admire those who are.

  3. It isn’t any of your business, but certainly is Craig’s and his wife’s. Since their ministry is so connected to porn, there will be a time kids ask questions…that’s my point.

    Donny, I’m not trying to be critical or doubting unconditional love to the souls of the lost. There is a caution, though, when children are involved. They are NOT stupid and can figure out a lot of things that would surprise adults! What is scary is their lack of maturity to put that into wise living.

    I would love to meet your son and be proud to tell him I’m a gramma!

  4. I agree, it is the business of Craig and his wife. I don’t even want to speculate on what they might say.

    That being said, there are always people in our lives that live their own lives in ways in which we might not approve. When I was still a porn producer and attended family gatherings, I’m sure my relatives didn’t relish the idea of telling their children what Donny did for a living. I really don’t think the subject came up much. I also do not know of any of them that avoided attending said gatherings simply because I would be there.

    I admire Craig and his wife making Ron a part of their family. I think that shows spiritual maturity and true Christian love, and I’m very touched by witnessing it. This is also what the staff of XXXChurch did for me during the years I knew them. As much as I allowed them to do so, anyway. And that is a good part of what began changing my perspective on Christianity and eventually led to my surrendering my life to God.

    Not long ago, Ron was on a tour bus for a week with Craig and his family. Others who shared the same concepts of Christian love were also on the bus. One of those people was a friend of mine, Jason Harper. Jason tells me he would sometimes “catch” Ron reading the Bible when he entered the bus. He also says Ron told him, “should you ever pastor a church in my area, I’ll attend”.

    Even though he is the biggest “porn star” in the business, God uses Craig, his family, and his staff to plant seeds of love in Ron Jeremy’s mind. Ron is a slave to sin, just as all of us are/have been. God calls us to be his hands and help set such “captives” free.

    I LOVE this type of Christianity… one that demonstrates love, unconditionally.

  5. Bravo! I’m very glad there are people like Craig who can effectively witness to people like Ron.

    My concern (again) is to make sure you’re not pouring “pearls” before swine…is Ron getting the message? I know, I know, God alone knows his heart and motives. When is enough enough? Especially when the ministers are one small voice in the wilderness? I’m thinking about Yale and the witness of you during Sex Week. How many were proclaiming the sacredness of sex within the confines of marriage alone? I would venture not too many – at least not from the schedule I read of the week. Of course, I admire anyone standing up for God’s standards – and each person is responsible for his own response.

    Again, my concern is for the children. I definitely think Craig’s first priority over Ron’s well being and spiritual welfare is the protection and edification of his own children. His “history” sure doesn’t sound productive for children!

    And Donny, you must admit it must have been terribly sad for your family to love you anyway in spite of your choice of occupation. I’m sure they would have preferred almost anything else for you. Your long years in bondage were finally broken by your acknowledgement of the situation and desire to change your life for God’s will instead of your own. I certainly pray Ron will come to the same conclusion! I also pray Craig’s children will have no harm done them.

  6. ron has a masters in education. he loves kids. do you tell your kids what all your friends do for a living?

  7. Jean,

    I love you, but I really don’t understand why you even concern yourself with this. You’re not going to convince either Craig nor myself that what we are doing is wrong in any way. What you ARE going to accomplish, however, is to convince me that you’re stuck in legalistic Christianity, the likes of which I despised as a child and wanted nothing to do with as an adult. Makes me wanna puke, to be honest with you.

    We’re all slaves to sin, Jean. Every. Single. One. Of. Us.

    That includes you, and me, and Ron Jeremy. And God, dear Jean, doesn’t put levels on sin. Only man does that.

    I’m done discussing this particular issue with you.

    – Donny –

  8. Donny,
    Good call ending that discussion – I was ready to pull my hair out reading her point of view.
    More guys talking today at church about you and Craig yesterday – BIG impact. One guy told me how he and the three guys he drove with talked all the way home about their struggles with porn and how they could pray for and support each other. Keep up the great work!

  9. Until ALL you guys can look back on your lives and be more aware of the “sins” that assault us all and the damage that causes children, either your OWN or your children’s children, you probably won’t even begin to understand where I’m coming from. You have not walked in my shoes yet.

    And, I came from a VERY legalistic background. I didn’t rebel like you did, Donny, but I can puke thinking about it now. I’m grateful I haven’t walked in your shoes. There’s NOTHING like the freedom we have in grace! However, I would beg to differ that as Christians we have been set free from the bondage of sin when we go from death to life in salvation. That doesn’t include non-believers! They are still blinded, bound, and very sinful! I would NEVER try to convince you your ministries are not correct for you. You have missed my point completely.

    And, yes, Craig, I never had hesitation telling my children what our friends did for their living. You all seem to have quite “sore spots” about this subject. I’m sorry to have upset you all so much (hope you have some hair left, Jeff!). It still concerns me to see unconditional love used quite inappropriately by unconditional tolerance, unconditional compromise, or possibly unconditional ignorance – Not that any of you are being put into those categories. There is, indeed today, a whole bunch of that going on!

    Give me a break, fellas! This old lady has a problem reading all the “qualities and talents” of Ron Jeremy and still keeping my lunch!! Does God love him and want him saved? You betcha! But, I’m not sure I’d give my children that job! I can see a whole lot of self defense and pride within your attitudes written above. There’re, of course, other attitudes as well that are wonderful. I am trying to caution on the side of children. Stop being so touchy! I’m positive you wouldn’t want your children continually around a liar, since all sins are on the same level. (I DO agree with your view here!)

    I’m sorry, Donny, you won’t comment any more. It’s your blog and you can do anything you want. And I doubt your “love” because you don’t really know me at all and don’t even try to see my point of view. I guess we’re all supposed to agree with you all the time since you’re the blog master.

    I find it rather ironic that you all seem to believe porn is so dangerous to adults, but then don’t find it harmful to children….now, I’ve really made you mad, haven’t I? It’s easier to dismiss me by calling me a legalist. You can ban me from your blog, if you want. I actually thought you liked to have “comments,” etc., as long as they agree with you?? So much for our different gifts and Body Life….

  10. Jean, on February 25th, 2008 at 1:00 pm Said:
    “It still concerns me to see unconditional love used quite inappropriately”

    Maybe I’m missing something here, but when is showing unconditional love (especially as Christians, Christ’s face to the world) inappropriate?

  11. Oh my! Well…well…well… was going to leave a comment, but decided to listen to reason instead.

    Bless you Donny… tell Uncle Ron I said hello the next time you see him. 🙂

  12. If you could… perhaps you could “sneak up” on Ron with your iPhone while he is reading the Bible? :o) – Jason

  13. I really see the side in all these points of view.
    The main thing is, we need to have “unity in diversity.” We need to respect each others’ points of view and look at the heart of the person behind it. We are all faulty humans but God is working in each one of us.

    I am so thankful there is a ministry like TripleX Church, it is very much needed and I think it is helping so many people.

  14. Jean, that kind of logic makes no fucking sense. I remember when my dad told me about a woman he had counseled. Her husband had “come out of the closet” and she was preparing to leave him based on biblical grounds. She kept telling my dad, “but he’s such a great father to the kids.” My father’s response was, “are you kidding, he disqualifies himself completely by being gay.” I used to agree with my father. setting aside the fact that the man was unfaithful and continuing to be be, let’s see what qualities he displayed as a father and how he treated his kids, etc. Just because a person sins in one way does not mean they are untrustworthy and have no good qualities.

  15. Let’s get to the real issue. This place is a CULT! I went there for a few years and became very involved. Before I knew it they convinced me to basically commit everything I did not to God, but to the church. The Senior Pastor has had numerous affairs (2 of the girls I know personally). They have been sued a number of times (this is public record), 2 of the cases, the complaintants were awarded large sums of money and they used tithe money to fight the cases! Before you start drinking the cool aid, run far, far away!

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