Donny's Ramblings

On Affairs: A Prayer

6 Comments

God, why did I cheat on my wife? Why did I throw away my family? Why did I think producing pornographic content would fulfill me more than her?

Oh, that I could have realized then what I realize now, this handful of years later:
She was so very amazing! Why didn’t I see that I could be just as aroused by my wife – an arousal that was instituted, with love, by you – as I always thought I’d be by other women? Why did I buy into the lie that sex with my wife was boring? I saw through that one two months after our separation, even in the midst of so much self delusion, when I started trying to explain to the new girl what it meant to have love and commitment…. the same things my wife used to say to me, receiving the same blank, uncomprehending stare from me that I received from “the new girl” each time the subject arose.  Pearls, cast before swine.

Why did I have to learn the hard way? Why couldn’t I have just listened and learned when others spoke about the life lessons they’ve learned? Why couldn’t I use the knowledge of their mistakes as an inspiration to avoid mistakes of my own?

And why now, a decade later after all has been lost (but which you can always restore) and I’ve finally accepted your love, can I not get through to so many of the 4 million plus I’ve spoken in front of – allowing the lessons I’VE learned and the things I’VE lost to inspire them to avoid the same pitfalls?

Our enemy doesn’t sleep, God.  Perhaps we shouldn’t either?

6 thoughts on “On Affairs: A Prayer

  1. A prayer for us to learn from others' mistakes

  2. I love you. Can I put this on the more than desire blog?

  3. Of course you can!

  4. Boy, this sounds too familiar. I lost my wife through Divorce by trading a wonderful loving for a computer screen illusion. go figure.

  5. DONNY GOD BLESS YOUR LIFE GOD WILL GREATLY USE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE JUST FOLLOW HIS LEADING HE WILL OPEN DOORS FOR YOU THAT NO MAN CAN SHUT. BE BLESSED

  6. “Oh how I was abused as a porn actress, how they ****ed me in a manner I had not agreed to, oh how I was abused,” etc…

    ***************
    WHATEVER!!!
    *************** 

    Listen, I am well aware that there are women who have been forced into pornography, and made to engage in these acts illegally, etc. But you see this is an almost negligible point. The fact is, if you were stupid enough to want to do pornography then you deserve all the “mistreatment” you got. Every single act of “cruelty” is justly afforded to you, for you were naive and foolish even considering that industry. Don’t say to me: “But I needed the money”, for even hitmen and credit-card criminals “need the money”. If you’re going to venture into anything, be prepared and take responsibility, for the consequences– regardless of your reasons!
    If you are a woman who has indeed been wronged and “raped” into such an industry, I truly am sorry and hope justice finds the purportrators. As for the rest of you, who went into the industry and are now complaining, you can go cry elsewhere…  

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