You are a good God. You bless me even when I don’t deserve it. When I fail so greatly, you remain faithful. You let me suffer for a season, and then you had mercy and ended it. My life is so blessed, even though I don’t deserve it. You’ve begun to restore. You are an amazing, loving Father. But still I pray:
Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
and justified when you judge.
Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
you who are God my Savior,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
Open my lips, Lord,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise.
You’ve given me the intelligence to offer something of value. You’ve given me much to steward, and I have taken it for granted. You slapped me down to teach me, and for that I really am thankful. I never comprehended how good things were for me, and I likely don’t now. But still you are faithful. You discipline those you love. That being the case, I feel very loved right now. I smile and laugh as I write that.
Your discipline, however, is just. And, God my God, you don’t leave anyone in despair.
You’ve even given grace to the few who have chosen to extend their hand to a man who doesn’t deserve it. I don’t need many people in my life, but I do need some. For so long I felt almost entirely abandoned. And then, as I was about to throw in the towel, you brought others into my life to help. You promised never to give those you love more than they can bear. That applies to those with self-inflicted wounds.
You keep your promises.
For that I thank you, my Father.