Donny's Ramblings

Call Me What You Will…

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…but when she was nearly killed recently, run over by the father of her daughter, with nobody else to help her get away from the situation, she knew I’d come. Though we haven’t spoken in years, she knew her call would be answered. She knew it.

When her safety and that of her two children (with another on the way) was not secure, she knew who would actually help get them somewhere safe, rather than make excuses for why help couldn’t be given.

Lots of people flap their gums. She knew there was one who would act, even if he had to spend half his savings to do what needed to be done.

She called. I acted. She and her babies are safe.

This time I put boundaries in place. Strict boundaries. Those boundaries are being respected by all involved. We don’t live in the same house. We keep our communications short. We have another woman involved who helps as much as she can.

And ya know what? It feels like a lot of healing has happened for both of us.

I wouldn’t call us friends. But we certainly resemble family. I walk on eggshells, watching every word to make sure it doesn’t offend or trigger. I keep those words as brief as possible and then get out of the way. I give enormous amounts of space, and I’m looking for a permanent solution that will give her the independence she really needs and wants.

Each week in our 3 hour meetings, the Rabbi told me that God puts people who have truly repented back in the same situation and gives them the chance to get it right this time.  It feels like that has happened.

Every morning I pray that God will guide me. Help me be a good man. Show me what needs done.

The cravings for scripture have returned. My Bible is never far away, and I’m not speaking of an electronic version.  There’s something powerful about the printed page. And this very Bible was with me during the hardest times of life.

Teach me, Holy Spirit. I invite you to do so. Create in me a clean heart. Renew a right spirit. Help me to be the man God wants me to be. Give me guidance.  Help me to handle this huge responsibility as God would have it handled.

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