Donny's Ramblings


A Busy Sunday In Sacramento

It’s been a busy Sunday, that’s for sure. I’m gonna ramble a little about my day for a minute, so bear with me and keep reading. There’s a good point to be made later in this article.

My day started off at 8am when my alarm clock let me know it was time to get up. Normally, 8am isn’t that early, but I was up until 2am watching movies with Wendy. When the alarm sounded, all I knew was that I needed to get ready to drive to Sacramento to meet JR Mahon, one of the pastors of XXXChurch, at Capital Christian Center.

JR asked if I’d meet him and shoot some film. I wasn’t really sure what the topic would be, but I’m up for whatever’s clever, ya know? And I’ll take a roadtrip at a moment’s notice. Besides, I really needed to make personal contact with someone to whom I’m accountable. JR is that someone. Or should I say “one” of those someones. When you’re as vile a sinner as yours truly, it takes much more than one accountability partner to keep you in check. 🙂

We met right before the 11am service. Capital Christian is right in the middle of a main-sanctuary remodel, so services were held in one of the other buildings on their campus. Jason Harper, one of their pastors, told me they can “only” seat 900 people in the temporary location, so they’ve gone to 7 services a day until the remodel of the main sanctuary is complete. The senior pastor’s sermon was great.

Right after the service, we hurried off to Jason’s office to record a podcast. Jason’s on “Episode 106”, or something like that, of his weekly podcast. I had a blast putting in my two cents here and there. Perhaps I’ll link to the Episode we recorded today as soon as Jason edits it. I’m sure you can’t wait. The anticipation must be killin’ you by now, right?

Once the podcast was over, we got to the real reason we’d all gathered. I asked JR what the topic of the day would be and he told me we were filming for The Esther Fund. Great cause. Very great cause.

In attendance was a very well known porn actor who left the business and gave his heart to God a little over 6 months ago. As of now, he’s not ready to release his name or porn name so I’ll keep it confidential. In his niche, he’s well known. We’ll leave it at that for now.

And now we’ve arrived at the part where I tell all of you a bit more detail about the Esther Fund and encourage you to support it in any way you can. I’ll speak from my own perspective.

When I left porn I left a lucrative income. Because of the nature of the porn world, money will always be pouring into it. I had a “live for the moment” attitude and blew every penny of the very large amount of money I made. Why? Because all I had to do to get more money was to wake up the next day and pick up a camera. More money was there for the taking. Saving was always something I’d do later. I remember the first month I made more than $50,000 (yes, for a single month): it was all spent by the middle of the following month. Yes, it’s possible to blow money like there’s no tomorrow. But I digress.

On the day I surrendered my life to God I decided I’d never again pick up a camera for the purpose of shooting porn. Problem was, there were bills to pay and shoots scheduled that would pay them. I knew I’d have to give up most of my “possessions”, but that really didn’t bother me. They brought no fulfillment anyway. The one thing I was concerned about, however, was how I’d continue to pay Wendy, my ex-wife. Without money from me, she and my son would be in a world of hurt. I left the business with no plan in mind. I just knew I had to get out and had a feeling God would provide. He didn’t disappoint me. The first way he helped was through the Esther Fund, (although I don’t think it had that name quite yet). I didn’t give a crap about money for myself, but I told XXXChurch my concerns for Wendy and Caden, and checks started showing up in her mailbox. That support took a huge load off my mind and completely negated any desires to continue producing porn in order to provide for her. Had it not been for the help I received during those crucial first days, my story might be different. Who knows.

Today, the porn star I mentioned earlier let me know that because of the Esther Fund, some very vital parts of his survival had been met. If I were able to speak freely I’d tell you exactly what is being provided and you’d better understand how amazing and important this fund has become to those who leave the world of porn.

On a sidenote: I’ll be attending Seminary soon and it’s the Esther Fund that makes THAT possible.

Discussion of the Esther Fund is incomplete without mentioning the people of XXXChurch and what a vital part they play in God’s kingdom. Some in the Christian community give them a lot of crap for what they do but I can tell you, my friends, the work they do changes lives. I’m a living example. Assisting me in leaving the business and helping financially in those first days is NOT where their work ends. They’ve also helped save my life since that time by giving me an ear to speak into one afternoon when I wanted to end my life. They got on the horn with me the moment they learned I was drinking too much red wine while posting on adult messageboards, making an insane fool out of myself. They kicked my ass both times, lovingly (sounds funny, but true) and got me thinking clearly again.

Despite what you may think of these people, you need to help them if you’re able to do so. If you’ve ever wondered whether contributing your money to a cause really effects change, let me tell you that when you contribute to the Esther Fund you can see the benefits to society right in front of your very eyes. The change in my own life is living proof.

I encourage you to contribute to the change of numerous lives to come.